I don't want to be away from youu

Me, Looking at you everyday, Staring at you.. thinking, why must you leave this year? how did i get into your life?? I've not been myself lately, I've been thinking about you leaving and everything.. About how am i gonna survive when you are gone. Yes, i maybe able.. but what about my heart? Can it stand the long distance relationship?? It's my second time falling in love so deeply but my first time for a long distance relationship.. What if things don't work out? How am i gonna face it?? I don't wanna break and fall all over again.. I'm scared. Yes, I may look strong and happy on the outside.. but what about the inside?? Is it strong enough to handle another harsh break up?? because this heart, this heart... Seems to fall so easily but whenever this heart breaks, it just can't find the small little pieces to fix untill this heart meets someone that can actually pick up and put all back.


Trying and trying not to remember you leaving. But whenever i open my organizer to write down the stuff i need to, i flipped the page and only see 2 pages left, i remember you leaving a note in my organizer saying someone is leaving. and i tea packs it out and wrote saddest day.. I don't know what to do without you. yes, you will visit us.. But but but.. When? I sure will miss you loads. I'm trying to plan to ask everyone to write in a book full of goodbyes and planing to give it to you. I hope i can buy something for you, but i can't seem to go out now a days.. Cause how am i gonna explain to my mamma that i wanna buy a guy a soft toy? that says "i love you".

Laughing all the tears away, Laughing all the pain away.. Does that really help? cause I'm guessing it might, for a while.. But not forever.. i wish you could stay with me forever.. I will miss all the goodbye hugs we give each other after school.. The goodbye kisses after school.. Mostly, I will miss the time where we always hold each other hands.. Being with him feels like a dream, a dream that i don't want to wake up from.. But but but.. Just but.. You are leaving, and hte nightmares seems to begin everyday when the term is going to end.. I tried and tired and tried to make that dream to come again, but, i can't.. I can't possibly ran up to his mum and say:" Excuse me Ms.. Can your son stay here with me cause I'm in love with him!" I can't say that.. His mum will kill him then he'll kill me..

Now a days, I tried to sleep early.. I tried to sleep.. Still, i can't.. I'm scared to start the nightmare.. The nightmare that would never go away. I can't basically tell you this cause you'll worry so much and which will be worst.. I don't want you going all crazy cause i know when i'm down, you worry so much that I'm starting to get really really worried of youu. all i wanan say, You'll forever be in my heart and I'll miss you when you leave.. I hope you'll feel the same way as i do..

"The feeling from being away from you is like you not having enough oxygen to breathe"

Ashely signing off

Tata

xoxo
ashleylicious