I HATE YOU, bitch.

literaly, missing you baixiao. ashley.. i want time to fly back to 2008 or maybe 2009? can one day become 2008 again? can everyone just go back to baixiao and step on those table, becoming the monitor, go to teacher's table and kacau those teachers, wearing our school uniform with baixiao logo on it, running around the whole school chasing the person then just pulled our hair (is always a guy tho), having a shoulder next to you whenever you need it and times where we laugh like nobody's buisness, not scared of any discipline teacher anymore again? times where when you have friendship problem there's always at least a friend around you ; when you have love problem everyone single one of your close friends will be right next to you. can we still have that in secondary now? whenever we have problems, no matter what kinda problem. we end up going back to each other cause baixiao will always be there. AshleyNgKhengLei, SeeSienWei, FlorenceChiengSzeMei, CarinGanYeZhuan, NicoleLimKahYi, ChongQiaoLi, ChongWeyJean (she im not so sure, oh well!), AuZhengYang, NgSheaZheng, SiahBenJing, LeeYewFei..

now in secondary when i cant reach you guys, im glad i have you baboon. you lighted up my day, always. ily <3

well, ofcourse baixiao iloveyou, too. (:

nothing's gona change my love for you?
now i get it why some girls like to stick with her boyfriends's friend then her own friends. :/

It feels different now ;

Dear Sien Wei,
I know how it feels like. It's okay. Everything will be alright. On the bright side you have your friends. They'll keep your mind off that situation for a while. He's not that far away. If you look at it, he's still in Malaysia. I hope things would be alright for you.

Love, Ashley (:



Dear Blog,
It's been ages since i last felt like this. Is it cause I'm actually in love? Like taking it seriously after that harsh break up i had back last year. No, it's not with that jerk from my school. I don't wanna mention no name here.. Sorry.. At the moment, I'm with someone, but something feels weird, different. I'm shy, and shy and shy whenever it comes to him. We talk so much through msn and phone but not when it comes to school. Why? On the other hand, I have this feeling, whenever i see him with her. It's not a jealousy type of feeling. One of my friend realized what was the issue. She knows how it feels like... But does he? I don't wanna mess everything up by telling him cause i know i will. Honestly, i don't know how to tell you.. I don't wanna hurt you at the same time. It's your first and i know how it feels like to lose something. I read his letter that he gave me the other day. It was kinda sad and sweet. I almost cried.. Yes, i did cry eventually. My heart was crying. I wasn't tearing, as i don't wanna worry my friend. Things are different. My feelings might be different too.Oh dam this thing. Everything is messed up and screwed it. so Bloggie, what should i do?

Love, Ashley(:

Oh yeah, so this is the story of my love life. It's complicated & it hurts.

Ashley signing off

Tata

xoxo
ashleylicious

you are .. far away

school's started a week already. i was wondering during the holidays how am i gona feel like studying in school without you around? normally you'll be just at the ground floor, in your class studying or sometimes you'll just suddenly pop up in front of me. now, it won happen anymore. :/

since school start you've been coming after school to see me, make me feel like you're not gone after all. but what about next week? your collage is gona start next time. you wont have time to come back EVERYDAY after school to see me. what am i gona do when i miss you? what am i gona do when i need someone to cheer me up in school?

we cant share milo ice in the same canteen sitting to each other with my friends, teasing eveyone and laugh like shit anymore. we cant be argueing in school for some little things and end up you always let me win. we cant be walking around in school together. we cant stay in class alone every wednesday and fridays anymore. we cant wait for each other after school .. everyday.

what am i gona do everytime i walk pass your class?
everything comes into my mind.

Stop killing me from the inside ;

If this is a game, i would want it to end now. I don't know why. why I'm feeling this waay. I can't talk to you like how i used to when we were just friends. I know we still do talk loads, but on MSN. We used to laugh&chat in school. or whenever we meet each other. now is just like. bbllah. we have nothing to say to each other.

If you guys don't know, we have been more than friends, more than best friends. and yes, that's why we get all nervous around each other. I hope this would stop. BUT HEY, I LOVE YOU OKAY!

Don't worry Sien wei, I still love you ((:

btw, Sien wei, which collage is yours going?!

I remembered that day, the day when you suddenly held my hands. I remembered the first day we hugged. i remembered how we met, it was funny, I'm even laughing now as i look back. maan, oh maan. It just feel like magic when I'm with you. It feels different from the others. Especially DK that fish maan.

All i can say is, Sien wei, you're in love, so am i.

Ashley signing off

tata

xoxo
ashleylicious

I can run away but i can't hide ;

I've tried everything I could. But yet.. why am i feeling this way?! Seeing him laughing and able to talk to other people so well.. but when it comes to me. we go speechless. Oh boooy, maybe we weren't meant to be.. I can't even say hi on Msn. I'll wait. but nothing comes up. looking at your name. still, nothing appears on my screen.

I dont know how to describe this feeling of mine. yes, I love you.. but still. I mean. I can't even talk to you.. my mind jsut goes blank whenever i see you. I don't know what to do. My friends are telling me you have the same feeling too.. and as i said boy, maybe we weren't meant to be...

I've cried for days, hours, minutes, seconds.. I'm losing a best friend & I'm scared of this love game I'm in... I know not all relationship is perfect. Friends come and go. i know i know. but.. what I don't know is how to handle it. I said i do. but it's a lie.

CRYING MY SOUL OUT!

Ashley signing off

Tata

xoxo
ashleylicious

a person with no achievements feels so useless. now i want is a little bit of achievements so i can tell myself that i can do it! but.. i dont even know what the hell am i good at. all i can is dance and play the piano, is that all?! what can i write about that in my achievements page?! im such a failer. ):