I stood there and i didn't know what to do

When i was there, when you were there.. I just pretend i didn't see. i pretended that nothing happened between us, pretended that we were just friends.. But.. as i kept looking at you, i started flash backing..Looking at the times we used to have..I've tried everything i could to forget about it.. but i couldn't.. it was like.. stuck in my head.. I didn't want this to happen, but it did! I tried to be strong. I did.. I did a good work.. But my heart was breaking..He left my heart with a scar and i thought i could remove it, but i guess, a scar is permanent.

I've tried to get you out of my mind, but i can't.. You seem to come up to my mind some how!I get goosebums whenever i think about you, see you, talk to you or anything that got to do with you..I don't know how to stop this. I've cried and cried and cried.. Yes, i'm with someone now, but you seem to be on my mind. I feel mean, i feel terrible, i feel useless, i feel like everything is crashing down.. I don;t know what to do.. As i thought i had a chance that you said you liked me back.. But not today anymore..just not today..I've heard that you've asked the person I used to had a fight with..and the reason was because she was jumping happily when you told her you liked her.. I tried and tried and tried.. not to think of it... But when i was sitting next to her, and you sat next to her, i felt like... i'm a piece of rubbish..

We used to joke around with each other.. but today, when i was just joking with you to take your phone, you got mad.. and there it goes again, trying not to think of you and everything.. When i saw you and her taking a sweet couple picture, i was just... just.. just.. trying again, not to look at you. when she asked me what's up with me, i jsut say i was tired.. yes i was tired. tired of pretending.. Tired of being your piece of rubbish.. Tired of being the left out one.. Tired of being used.. Tired of being your back up.. I'm tired. i'm sick and tired of it..

It's so annoying to see you just to forget me so fast. It's so annoying when i was waiting for you, you liked someone else. When you came back for me, i liked someone else. and now, when i liked you back, you are with someone. I don't know why. but youuu. you seem to. seem to... seem to..ah, nothing.. As i took the box out.. i gave it a big blew, and opened it.. The stuff that you gave me, the letters, and everything. i started crying, tearing,hiding in a coner because i was scared.. I didn't want this to happen again.. but it did.. blink of an eye, everything that was so perfect was gone.. Everything that was gone, was long gone.. everything that was long gone, will forever be safe in my heart.. I don't know what to do now..

The person i'm with now, seem to be so happy to get out of this school, the person that i still like seem to be happy.. What about me? What about my heart?

Ashley signing off

tata

xoxo
ashleylicious