They said it was easy... but was it really that easy? ;

I don't know why, but i feel like you and me, will end soon.. It's cause, I haven't been feeling the way i do last time.. I still don't get you after these 4 months together.. Just because I'm busy and I don't get to talk to you then you don't like me? If it's that way, then what the hell is the use. I wonder why am I doing this? Why am I falling for you? Why..

It's really difficult for me to tell you this.. But. honestly, you seem to ask me to do stuff i don't want to which you want. And when I said I won't do it, you just said we will do it together... and it got into my nerves more.. Why do you always want to get what you want? What about me? Have you thought about me? Have you? I don't think so. You say you do, but to me, you aren't.. Do you know how annoying,hurtful it is..? It was my mistake to choose you just to forget someone; and I guess, I'm gonna do it today, I'm gonna let him know that it's over.. or maybe after i call Sien Wei;

It's not cause of he leaving. It's cause how he treats me and everything. Some of you might say that it's my fault too because i used him just to forget someone. Yes, it is.. But.. it's because... forget that someone is so difficult and i learned from this lesson that you can't just forget someone by dating someone else.. I can't pretend that I've moved on when i didn't.. I can't do this alone. I need someone.. and i thought getting someone new might be it.. but.. i guess.. no..

I don't know what to do.. I need some advice from somebody.. I need to talk to someone.. I need that someone to help me out.. I don't want him in my life anymore.. He's been ruining it and i couldn't see it. Well, maybe not ruining it but he is starting to.. and my feelings are telling me the right way is to break up. and i have faith in this feeling.. but still, i need to talk to Sien wei about this..

To sien wei for the early post reply: I really miss everything in primary. It was so lovely, unforgettable. I never felt like this before. The feeling of being alone. The relationships back then was indeed lovely,tight.. but there were up and downs too, don't forget about that (: Yes we both were monitors which kinda sucked for me.. Cause everyone was just blaming me for stuff.. Life, simple word, yet really painful. it just changes in a blink of an eye. just a SNAP and we are facing a teenage life, a life that might be worst.. Perfect, another word. No one is perfect..nothing is perfect.. so why are we even trying to make it perfect? not we.. why me.. It's really nice to see everyone moving from primary to secondary but at the same time, I feel like I'm alone.. Well, yes I'm alone in a school.. but i have lovely friends. One thing that i feel alone it's cause, things in secondary are different.. Sometimes, i just sit and wonder, when will i ever gonna see everyone again. When will I be able to hug them again.. When will we be starting another silly fight again. There's so many things going through my mind and I don't know what to do. I wanna plan a reunion but.. Where? When? How much will it cause? and bla bla blaa. =/

Ashley signing off

Tata

xoxo
ashleylicious