& to say I hate you, would be a lie.;

It was like, I'm breaking. My heart and i don't know why. There was no use of this anymore. I didn't know what to do.. I don't want to go back to the pass. I don't want to be in the present either. And I can't go to the future now.

How can i just forget in 7 months. 1 year relationship is really long. If you believed that i was really over you, then.. yeah.. if you don't. you are right. i'mnot really over you yet.. I don't know how many people actually knows this.. but i think now that some people do knows it now. It's hard for my to move on, It's hard for me to control my feelings and mostly It's hard for me to pretend that I've moved on. I've tried to forget about you. but i can't.. Why are you like that? Why? Why must i be so so weak??

Sometimes, I listen to songs, watch movies. There's always like something related to my situation or how I'm feeling. This is the difficult part. I cry and cry and cry... Just for stupid songs and movies. Isn't CRAZY? I don't know how to express it out here.. I don't know how to say it.. but. yeah. There was a time when i saw you. and i heard your voice.. I thought i was in a dream. and yes, i was actually in a dream. I was dreaming about you.. and i don't know why.. is it cause i'm missing you too much? It can't be.Oh i don't know. i'm a confuse girl again;

I'm the one who caused this pain myself. I was the one who chose the path to pretend to forget about him. But, i can't..it's difficult now. seriously.. it is.. i don't know what to do.. someone please help me. =/

Ashley signing off

tata

xoxo
ashleylicious