You said you will be there ;

I've tired to tell you how i feel. i want to, but i can't. I can't just go up to you and say," hey you know that i love you?" what the hell. i can't..

Moving on.. It seems so hard, so difficult, but now, i'm gonna do it. I'm not going to let you bring me down again. I sick of waiting, sick of pretending that i've moved on.. Sick of being strong when i'm weak. Sick of putting a big happy smile on my face when my heart is aching. I've always waited for the right time to tell you.. But the right time never seem to come. Maybe we weren't made for each other. I stare and stre at your name on MSN. Pointing my mouse to your name.. Then double click it.. after i've finished typing, i just delete the message i want to send. i don't know... Whenever i wannaa tell you something, it's so difficult.. or you'll say " nahs, it ain't worth waiting" then why are you waiting?

When i was in the car this morning and i heard the song "move along" and i was sing to it.. when i was singing, the lyrics reminds me of my situation. "Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong. Move along, move along like I know you do. And even when your hope is gone Move along, move along just to make it through" Look at it..i have to do that.. So i was on a road trip this morning and.. and.. I thought to myself:" maybe this is my time to clear my mind" and i did.. not completely, but almost there.. until until. another song came up. and it got me being all sad.. When i was playing golf this morning, i couldn't hit the first few shots.. i told myself:"let it all go. Imagine that he was the ball" and i miss hit it.. and then i was like:" AsHLEY! let it go.. do not think of him" and i played better. i guess, i will be better off without youu. i want you to know that! hope you read this blog and know how i feel!!!!!

Ashley signing off

Tata

xoxo
ashleylicious