How do you do it?

You know.. It's so weird, i said i will move on, i will let go? I think i'm doing a good job. and you know why? BECAUSE... oh i don't know.. Maybe I'm not letting go, maybe i am.. You guys would not know.. Cause I'm putting my optimistic cap on.. and saying i will get him off my mind, my heart, my memories.. The stuff he gave me, i will give it away.. No wait, instead, i will keep it and makes sure it collects loads of dust.!

I'm sick of being your little toy that you play with. Cause I'M NOT A TOY TO PLAY WITH! I HAVE FEELINGS! Oh wait, you don't know how i feel because you are the guy that doesn't care about people's feelings. Well, maybe you do care.. But.. not anymore to me..

I don't really care anymore. i mean i still do care.but you are the one that made me to choose this path.. how i wish i can turn back in time.. but somehow, i also don't want you to hurt me again. I know, you are living your life like yeahh. so enjoyable.. nothing to worry about. I think i've made up my mind to just stay single.. my relationship status will change soon. but not sure when.. it's because i'm sick of being hurt, being blamed, being shouted at, being your back up, being your rubbish.. and everything. Yes, it's so nice to be in a relationship, when there isn't heartbreaks.. Yes, it's nice to know that you always have someone with you no matter what.. yes, it's lovely you hug someone.. yes, it's nice to hold the person tight.. But. to me, it's all just a lie...

I know what you readers are thinking now. It's just one thing.. and something like that.. iknow, i shouldn't be over reactting telling myself not to love someone again. I will fall in love with someone, but not now.. Maybe just not now.. Now, I'm going to delete you out of my mind.. I dont care.. i'm doing this is because this is the best for me and you.. yes.. I'm going crazy now.. but.. grr..

I've took this quiz on Facebook, what is causing your depression and it says your past. yes, it's so true.. it's haunting me.. you are haunting me yf.. our memories are haunting me.. isn't it hauting you?? If it isn't.. then it's just me missing you too much... so yeah.. I want us to stay friends, but you never seem to chat with me ever since we've broken up. you only talk with me when you are high, and yeah.. so. maybe our friendship will not last either.. sorry..

Ashley signing off

tata

xoxo
ashleylicious